March 9, 2010
I’m sure you’re thinking to yourself, “that’s just ridiculous! It’s impossible to think that there could be too much ‘Who’s Your Daddy?’ coming at me. Stop that crazy talk!” Just cool your heels there my friend because I know that is crazy and not what I’m talking about.
I’ve been wondering lately about the balance of “involved dad” vs “over-involved dad” (in my case in sports) and where that line might be. I’ve coached the Little Man now for his first two soccer seasons, plus a season of indoor soccer plus being a de facto coach for his first year of little league. I’m now signed up to actually coach his second year of little league and this raises the question, “too much dad?”
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy coaching and the Little Man seems to enjoy having me as his coach (most of the time). But I worry that it might be getting a little too comfortable for him and if he can learn as much from me. In my experience so far, it seems that your kids (especially father and son) sometimes have a hard time taking coaching or advice from their parents. This was never more evident to me than last summer when the Little Man became truly interested in golf. Almost every attempt to help, fix or coach by me was completely rebuffed. When he took a lesson, the exact same information from the golf pro was taken without question.
As with everything else, there is a balance there somewhere. So I ask you, could we be entering the territory of “too much dad?”
Tags: coach, dad, kids, sports
I think you might be, but sometimes that’s OK. My daughter doesn’t do well with my husband or myself teaching her anything.She just wants to take the easy way out, etc. if we’re there. So, what works best for us is to support her and support team/school in another way that is not directly related to her involvement. I bring a mean snack! But if your son is doing fine with you there, don’t sweat it. It will be special for him later in life. But, if he progresses in the sport and you realize he needs a different coach, get him one.
I for one, agree. Part of the sports experience is learning to be coached. Learning to be coached by someone other than your Dad is an important part of it all. Like everything else, balance is the key.
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